Garden-ing

Talking about my process has been difficult for me in the past, largely because these little freestyle sessions that I have become so comfortable creating, have been exactly that, a freestyle. And with that comfortability has come a lack of both preparation and even having a consistent process in which I go about the creation. Unfortunately, over time that lack of preparation has allowed me to become lazy in my delivery as well, which, I can honestly say, has had an intense effect on how I work on real projects and intently sticking to project deadlines. What is different this time around is that I will not make a major announcement about a new way of going about things, the way I have in the past. I will not stop time to pat myself on the back each time I succeed and kick myself when I fail. But what I will do, is making a conscious effort with everything I choose to create an attempt to create a habit around the process. So I mark this down, as day 2 a success. Much like the process of a recovering addict or a workout beginner looking to create a new lifestyle, my failures will not consume me but only remind me that I am human.

One of the underlying themes of my conversation with Nicole, after getting caught in the garden with her top off, was one of growth and progress. For those that don't know, Nico is a professional Make-up artist and in recent times has begun to pick up the sub-craft of micro-blading. For her, that is a newly found focus of the makeup profession but what stood out to me in her excitement for her new equipment setup was a desire to grow beyond her current expectations. Her goal in her own life is not even to become a professional model but to me, that is what helps her to stand out. Again, the desire to deny other's expectations for us and realize that we can create a path that is unique to us are truths that most people are too afraid to accept.

Neither of us, as I discovered, had finished college but have not allowed that to cripple us in life; she didn't start which is way better than me lol. To be honest, for awhile it did sort of cripple me in my thoughts of myself as I started to believe the storylines that others would try to create for me. But through becoming more comfortable in my path and gaining more understanding of the fears that others attempted to push on me, I grew to realize that what is for me will likely not be for anyone else. I was asked by a homeless guy once, "What story do you want your grandkids to hear about you?", and that question has plagued me since. I don't want to deny the dreams and aspirations of my grandkids because I was too afraid to make mistakes that would create incremental growth throughout the span of my life. I want to be able to tell them to push harder because all of the best things in life lie on the other side of fear. Accepting that you have to miss a few steps to master this thing is all part of the process and the wisdom gained throughout the process, is all part of growth. 

Follow Nico's journey on her IG at @nicoobabyy